CASE 1
Hillary (not her real name) found a lump on her breast. It was cancerous. Mastectomy was the only option. Her husband was flabbergasted. To him, mastectomy was not an option.
"I cannot look at you like that!" He declared.
She hesitated. Six months later, she died.
He remarried.
CASE 2
Anita, (not her real name) aged 57 and single, went to seek a second opinion when she discovered she had Stage 1 Breast Cancer. Confused and alone, she moved in with a bomoh who promised to heal her. Her family (siblings) knew nothing about her condition.
The cancer spread to her colon. She died a year later.
Support comes in many form.
Financial Support is the practical solution. It is the short term solution to what looked like a long term problem. Sometimes, it saved lives but not always.
Moral Support then. "We're behind you through and through and we support your decision." That's the support that comes from an uninvolved concerned party. It says that "We are behind you while you go through this alone."
Emotional Support is something else. That's the kind of support which says "We will walk through this together." It can only come from an involved party, a family member, a soulmate.
In Case 1, financial support was not an issue. Hillary just did not have any moral or emotional support. It might work out differently had those issues been addressed.
Anita, in Case 2 did not require financial support. Sadly, she cut herself from the moral and emotional support that could have been given by her siblings. She turned instead to a bomoh. We pay for our follies.
Do not turn away from any form of support.
ReplyDeleteReach out.........
Yup!
DeleteWhen I read the 2 cases, six months to one year time frame on the on slot, from the linear drama point of view, would be considered a very short span. But then again, what is ‘time’ when we desperately want it, cling to it, yet are we living up to it??
ReplyDelete“I cannot look at you like that!” .. a total jerk would spew these words. I don’t know, one should know one’s other half to be able to know what’s coming. Either that or people see the signs but choose to look the other way until a ‘major catastrophe’ emerges.. ‘True colours’ don’t just happen overnight. But your subject is ‘Support’ so, if Hilary didn’t get it from her husband, I believe there are still choices although obviously she would have to go through the experience. The choice of experience is in her hands.
In Case 2, I would rather think Anita (being single) and had chosen to believe in the Bomoh, had a great 1 year with the bomoh ;P just saying..
A lot of times we view happenings in perspectives of what we are made up of. A reference point of a collective ‘me’. So, does my ‘me’ perspective be equal to that of ‘your’ perspective. It can sometimes come very close but it can never be the same. Like when you taste sugar, you say it is sweet. I taste sugar, I say it is sweet. How do we know the ‘sweet’ is the same sweetness unless there is only one tongue to taste for both which is impossible.
Your one true support is yourself. But God is graceful, he gives us husbands, wives, parents, children, friends and some total strangers to nudge us along.
It is often difficult to understand the choices people make with their lives.
DeleteHillary chose to hesitate. She probably did not know or understand the significance of Time. What is six months to a year until it is too late?
As for Anita having a great one year with the bomoh, *LOL* I like your humor but I doubt it. With Big C hanging like a noose over one's head, its virtually impossible to have a "great" time.
What you wrote about "perspective" from the singular point of view is interesting. Our judgment calls are based on these perspective and hence we differ.
hey kiddo, everything okay? Keep your spirits up.
ReplyDeletePlease don't mind my writing here - I often go out of tangent.
My intent is that you win over the 'beast' in your fight.
And I look forward to reading your writings.. in this blog. Keep them coming.. :)
I'd be away in the US (accompanying my son for his further studies). The run-up on preparation had me pulling my hair.. All's good to go now..
Cheers!
No worries. Tangents are good too. They're a distraction and I need lots of those.
DeleteBon Voyage, Kiddo!