Conclusive Evidence

So the previous needle prick biopsy wasn't conclusive.  They needed a bigger chunk from me, said my new GP when I consulted him after seeing Professor Yip.    Fine for him to say something like this.  Think how much trauma that put me through.  I imagined them with a huge needle drilling into the core of my lump to get at those sample and poor me,  pale from all that drilling, panting from the effort and probably dripping blood all over the well sanitised floor.

We were there 45 minutes before the procedure.  I was restless and distraught, cold with anxiety and flushed from the effort.

In any case, the procedure was delayed to about 3pm.  Dr Malkit explained the procedure to me.  Local anaesthesia, after which they insert a bigger needle one minute later, three times into different parts of my lump to extract three different tissue samples.

"Whatever you do, doc, just don't let me see the needle," I said as I laid myself down.

The local anaesthesia wasn't that bad.  Pin prick though I probably made a fuss before it was administered.  I shut my eyes tight and prepared myself for the first drill.  It was different from what I had imagined.

Thruup!  Thruupp!  Like how you stapled a bunch of papers together.

Not to be outdone, I gave a little yelp.

"Was it that painful?", asked the surprised doctor.

"Just a little," I answered, thoroughly unabashed.

I prepared myself for the second drilling.  It was on another part of the lump.  This time, I told the doctor, that she may have ten samples if she so wished since it was virtually painless.  She laughed.

By the time she finished the third drill, I asked her if she needed a fourth.  I know I am such a show-off sometimes.

Anyway, I heard them comment that my tissue samples were white.  I wondered what that meant.  Doc said, "... can't tell because fibroids are also known to be white."

The report was out 3 days later:

Three fragmented cores are seen, infiltrated by malignant cells.  The tumour cells are small and cuboidal, and form tubular structures and solid cords.  The lining cells demonstrate prominent small central nuclei, generally hyperchromatic.  Nucleoli are single and small.  There is no in-situ component seen in the sample examined.  Diagnosis: infiltrating ductal carcinoma of breast, Grade 2.

And there's that word again.  "Malignant", the Beast.

I found myself wading through a thick fog in slow motion, not being able to see what lies ahead and not knowing what is behind.  My knees became weak and wobbly and why were the lights dimming out?  I watched the Professor's lips move but could not grasp its meaning.

Time was of the essence.  My surgery was scheduled for July 6, 2013 whereupon the entire left breast will be surgically removed.