Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Horror of Horrors!

Like I said before, I'm all sorts of weird. Fancy picking up a blade and making a deep cut from the knee to the shin just to see what's inside. That's what happened to my left leg.

Wait! It gets weirder. Guess what I saw inside my knee?  Wires. That's right. Think Arnold Schwarzenegger. Think Terminator. Yup!

Blood oozing (now that wasn't from Terminator) down my knee had me rushing to seek medical attention. For that, I had to hobble from hospital to hospital through difficult obstacles. In one hospital, I was expected to leap onto concrete stairways two meters below. That's the only way to reach Outpatient.

I didn't feel any pain although I had to remind myself to hobble right lest the doctors think I wasn't serious enough to warrant their attention.

It was terrible searching, seeking for something which kept moving away. Finally I woke up. I needed to pee. I wish the smart Alec up there in my brain had the decency to just tell me to wake up and pee rather them make me go through the theatrics.

Appetite Anguish

Some eat to live. I live to eat.
Yup! That pretty much described in a nutshell the significance of food to me. I've lost my appetite, folks. There's two reasons I can think of which could have caused this. 

Hormone pills.
These were believed to make you all sorts of weird. The oncologist (who prescribed this) told me to expect hot flushes or any other menopausal symptoms. Those did not come. Instead, I lost my appetite..

Here I am, at my desk with a plate full of assorted fruits, munching on them as I write my post. What's wrong with this picture, you asked? Well, its something which hadn't happened before. Fruits are okay, don't get me wrong. I don't have any quarrel with them and I could be persuaded to have them for the occasional lunch, once in a blue moon but to have them three days in a row just stretches the imagination.

What's weird is that I can't even bear to look at the meat dishes on my dining table. They nauseate me.

Effects of hormonal imbalances?  Or?

Damaged Taste Buds?
The chemotherapy I went through could have damaged my taste buds.

This kinda reminds me of Madam Grandma. (More about her HERE.)  She's the one who bit her tongue accidentally and was later diagnosed with cancer. Her oncologist prescribed 35 radiotherapy sessions. Was it 35? I can't remember. I think some of my memory cells are dead too.

Anyway, Madam Grandma loved to talk. (Which woman doesn't?)  She would shinny up a tree to reach you for a chat if you're hiding up there above the canopy. On any given morning, she'd circle you until you look up and when you do, she'd give you that all encompassing smile as she advances for the kill. That's probably very mean of me but I've lost my appetite so I'm allowed to be cantankerous.

On one such morning, Madam Grandma was as usual surrounded by a bunch of cackling women. (I'm sorry, did I say cackling?  I'll retract that.) I was seated some three meters away from the cacklers. I don't have to tell you (but I will anyway) that they were talking really loud. Grandma was telling them how the radiotherapy will affect her taste buds. When those taste buds are destroyed, there will not be any new ones to replace them. She will lose the ability to taste.

Horror of horrors! I think my taste buds are dead!















Tuesday, May 20, 2014

To Serve Man

The Kanamits, a 9-foot tall alien race landed on Earth. Their spokesman announced to the United Nations that they were here to help humanity.

They shared their advance technology. Hunger was eliminated. Energy became cheap. Nuclear weapons were rendered harmless. Deserts were morphed into fertile fields.

Patty, one of the staff of US government cryptographers led by Michael Chambers cracked the title of a Kanamit book the spokesman left behind at the UN.  It's title, she revealed is "To Serve Man." Soon, humans were volunteering for trips to the Kanamit's home planet, which was portrayed as a paradise. Michael Chambers was one of those volunteers,

With the Cold War ended, the code-breaking staff had no real work to do so Patty continued trying to work out the meaning of the text of "To Serve Man."

The day arrived for Chambers's excursion to the Kanamit's planet.  Just as he mounts the spaceship's boarding stairs, his staffer Patty appeared.  She ran towards him in great agitation. While being held back by a Kanamit guard, Patty cried, "Mr Chambers, don't get on that ship! "To Serve Man" ... it's ... it's a cookbook!"

* "To Serve Man" is a science fiction short story written by Damon Knight



Saturday, May 17, 2014

First Follow-up

Six weeks after the last radiotherapy, I went for my first follow-up. The oncologist scrutinized my skin and seemed satisfied. I've lost about 600 gm but since I'm over-weight to begin with, I wasn't too concerned.

The next check up is in 3 months time.The oncologist told me I'll be seeing her every three months for the first year. This will progress into 6 monthly visits, then yearly visits until ... (with an embarrassed smile, she added) ... the end.

The end. It sounded ... No. I don't want to go there.

Meanwhile, if you want to read about the effects of chemotherapy, you might want to check out this virtual guide.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Bone Treats

The flower bed behind my sliding gate at the back needed attention.  The soil inside came from the ground.  It was dug out when the back porch was renovated years ago. With a small shovel, I loosen the soil and mixed them up with fallen leaves swept up from the garden. When I trim my hedges, the trimmings go inside as well. It will be months before the bed is ready.

That mutt on the right was exceedingly curious. She came close to sniff out the soil and made a nuisance of herself by nudging me all over.  I ignored her. When that failed, I had to push her away.  That was before my shovel hit something hard in the soil.

Yup!

Buried bones,  All three of them.  Who could have buried them there?

"XENA!" I yelled.

She came at once. She isn't typically responsive, let me assure you but this time, she came at once, staring as she did, at the bones on my shovel.

I gave her an earful, pointing at the buried bones and looking suitably disgusted. While she did not argue, her eyes betrayed the turmoil within. In full view, I made the elaborate ritual of transferring the bones into a garbage bag and throwing them into the bin.

She gave me that "I-can't-believe-you're-doing-this." look but stayed her tongue.

Someone gave us a bag of bones recently.  They came from a roast lamb.  I took two chunks out into the garden this morning.  Venus and Xena appeared like genies from a bottle.

If you think I'm going to hand those bones over to them without any pomp or ritual, you're grossly mistaken. This is another opportunity to tell them who's the boss.

The ritual began with the spreading of newspapers on a suitable area in the garden. Can't have them nibbling at those oily chunks anywhere they want, can I? They were then invited to sit before their respective newspaper, nice and proper, like a lady should. Then and only then, the meat chunks were placed in the middle of the newspaper.

Years of training paid off for Venus. She knelt on the newspaper to nibble at the meaty chunks between her spread-out forelegs.

The same cannot be said of Xena.  At opportune moments, she grasped the bone between her teeth intending to chew them somewhere else.  Now I had to tell her who made the rules around here so I tried to remove the bone from her clutch. She growled. That's the warning sign.

Possession aggression.

A timid dog can and will turn aggressive if you try to remove anything from its grasp. With Venus and Ginger, we've gone beyond that stage. I can remove any bone right from between their teeth without an "uprising."

Xena, on the other hand, had an independent spirit and wasn't about to submit to anyone without putting up a fight.

So we have an impasse, Xena and me.  I won't have her moving the bone away from the paper and she won't have me interfering with how or where she eat it.

At this point, Venus is watching us.

I tried to pry the bone from her with a twig.  A louder growl. She was getting annoyed - and dangerous.

Water scoop in one hand, I tried again to pry the bone from between her teeth. When she turned aggressive, I "watered" her down.  It worked. She dropped the bone and was immediately submissive.  The bone was returned to the middle of the newspaper. She was invited to go to it, which she did. At the next opportune moment, she again attempted to run away with the bone. I was ready for that, water scoop in hand. After about 5 to 6 attempts, she finally finished the bone on the newspaper.

Venus never left hers.

Stage 1 completed.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Her bark is worse than her bite..

She barked, all of a sudden, without a warning.

I was startled.

Looking up from the lawn I was weeding, I followed her gaze. A small, thin Indonesian man was loitering outside the gate of the house across from mine.
 
The house was unoccupied. Some renovation was going on. The Indonesian could well be one of the men involved in the work. That she couldn't tell, tells you she's not very smart.

I looked back at the weeds on the ground.

She barked again, this time, ferociously. I looked up just in time to see the small man hoist himself over the gates.  Once inside, he stared defiantly in our direction.

She looked at me, aghast at this outrage.

"Good job, Xena!"  I said as I rubbed her head.

She straightened up at once, and looking back at the man, gave him a piece of her mind.  It was a rather large piece.

She looked back at me to see if I noticed.

"Thank you, Xena!"  I said as I smiled at her.

A van full of men arrived outside the gate to commence their work.  She lambasted them before strutting off importantly.

She always had the last bark.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Is she teachable?

I like to think that all my dogs are teachable. If any of them charged outside the gate when it's opened, they get an earful and a few spanks for good measure. The invisible line at the gate cannot be breached.  That's the rule.

Feeding time was a huge problem when Xena first came. Her family was destitute. They lived in an abandoned house where scavenging (for food) was the order of the day.  We adopted her when she was 2 weeks old.  She had adorable eyes. They were blue. I have her picture here somewhere. Let me see if I can scare them up.

Yup!  Here it is.
Like I said, feeding time was a huge problem.  (Food Aggression, I think it's called.) She grappled with her food and was apt to turn aggressive at a moment's notice. Food brawls exploded every now and then.

We needed a tactical approach.

At a subsequent feed, I held her bowl in my hand and waited patiently for her gaze to shift from the bowl to me. It took an eternity but she finally obliged and when she did, FOOD became available. This ritual was repeated at every meal until we reached a stage where the shifting of her gaze became instantaneous.  Stage 1 accomplished.  

When the food was placed before her, she went at it like a ravenous wolf. It wasn't her fault, you understand? One would blame that on poor upbringing, which justified Stage 2 by the way.

Having first ensured that she remained calm, I placed her bowl of food slowly on the floor. This bowl was retracted when she as much as look at it.  In time, she learned to focus her attention on me while the bowl was being lowered.  I didn't stop there.  I held out my fingers and started counting from 1 to 5.  The counting goes back to 1 each time she shifted her gaze. When I reached 5, I muttered "Okay" and she gets her food.

In time, the counting went on to 20 before she got her food.

In the picture on the right, her focus was so intense that she did not pay any attention to the red food pellet on her head.

Where am I going with this? Well, the whole idea is to snap her out of her excited state of mind where she can be unpredictable and to get her to a calm, submissive state of mind where I am in control.

Her table manners improved considerably but I wouldn't recommend that you invite her to dinner.