Auntie Molly (not her real name) is in her seventies. She moved into the neighborhood umpteen years ago with her ailing husband and a little white dog. I first noticed her when I heard her yelling at the Yip Family who lived across the road on her right. It was none of my business but heck ... I always had time to watch a good yell now and then. It took the humdrum out of my daily routine.
I wouldn't call Auntie Molly a little old lady and you shouldn't too. She is sprightly for a woman her age. She had a passion for gardening so the first thing she did after moving in was to engage someone to clear out the weed outside her house. All manner of flowering shrubs occupied the narrow strip of land (hereinafter referred to as "The Land") to turn it into a delightful eye candy. It also became the object of a dispute between the two families.
Across the road from "The Land" lived the Yip Family. "The Land" had been the parking area for the Yips since they moved in twelve years prior. I first noticed the Yips when a middle-aged well-dressed (and well-coiffured) woman drove her car out of the porch, parked it outside my back gate, threw a garbage bag on the narrow strip of council land outside my house, and drove away. (No, I did not confront her. That would be unneighbourly.) The middle-aged man known as Mr Yip had a receding hairline and a Don't-Mess-With-Me face. His son was well built, mid twenties and weighed down by a chilling scowl. One morning while I was trimming my hedge outside the house, I saw him walked towards his car. He scowled at his windscreen which was smashed to smithereens. One wonders if that was not the aftermath to a happy hour brawl at the end of his day. Then there's young Miss Yip, well-endowed and on the obese side. Clearly, Mr Yip's Don't-Mess-With-Me genes were the dominant traits in his two children. Did I mention the little white Shih-Tzu? That's their bark-all-day canine which ran out of their house one morning when the gate was opened. It was run over by old Michael, the sausage dog man.
Across the road from "The Land" lived the Yip Family. "The Land" had been the parking area for the Yips since they moved in twelve years prior. I first noticed the Yips when a middle-aged well-dressed (and well-coiffured) woman drove her car out of the porch, parked it outside my back gate, threw a garbage bag on the narrow strip of council land outside my house, and drove away. (No, I did not confront her. That would be unneighbourly.) The middle-aged man known as Mr Yip had a receding hairline and a Don't-Mess-With-Me face. His son was well built, mid twenties and weighed down by a chilling scowl. One morning while I was trimming my hedge outside the house, I saw him walked towards his car. He scowled at his windscreen which was smashed to smithereens. One wonders if that was not the aftermath to a happy hour brawl at the end of his day. Then there's young Miss Yip, well-endowed and on the obese side. Clearly, Mr Yip's Don't-Mess-With-Me genes were the dominant traits in his two children. Did I mention the little white Shih-Tzu? That's their bark-all-day canine which ran out of their house one morning when the gate was opened. It was run over by old Michael, the sausage dog man.
Too much detail? Okay.
So, Mr Yip confronted Auntie Molly's husband and gave him an earful for the loss of his parking zone. What he did not know was that the old man suffered a stroke and was therefore unable to respond. It was the Auntie's moment. She snapped at the snarling Mr Yip who retreated quickly. When Mr Yip was safely inside his house, Auntie Molly started the yelling. Quick as lightning, I was out in the garden to get a better "understanding" of the crisis.
Oh ... IT ... WAS ... UGLY! She yelled. He yelled. I listened.
It didn't end there. Three tall palm trees were added to "The Land". It became the new point of disagreement. Mr Yip maintained that the three palm trees (right opposite his front door) affected the feng shui of his house. His wife was diagnosed with leukemia.
Auntie Molly agreed to move some of her palm trees out. Mrs Yip's illness worsen. The Yips poisoned the shrubs on "The Land." Lawyer letters were issued. Letters of complaint were written to the local authority. (who owned "The Land.")
More yells between the families. Auntie's daughter intervened. Peace was restored. The Yips moved away. Mrs Yip did not recover from her illness.
"How absurd can they get? My palm trees make his wife sick? Gah! I attend church, you know? I only pray for the well being of others." Auntie Molly explained to me by way of explanation.
Knowledge is power ... right?
Yup! I avoided Auntie Molly like The Plague. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Yada-yada-yada! You steer clear from the quarrelsome types, that's what you do. When she told me to cut my hedge more often, I had to agree. When she told me my discarded garden waste is too near her plants, I moved them away. When she removed herbs from my hedges without permission, I looked away. I am the picture of Congeniality.
Recently, we engaged a contractor to install an external water tank. The man borrowed our ladder for the job and left it at the back alley together with some discarded planks. The ladder disappeared. We bought a new one and did not pursue the matter. Meanwhile, Auntie wasn't pleased because the planks were lying on her side of the back alley so she started scraping the outer wall of her house, the parts facing the back alley. She grumbled as she scraped and scraped as she grumbled. She kept this up from morning till well past noon. I got the message. She did not want the planks on her side of the alley. When the contractor did not remove the discarded wood at once, she recommenced the Grumble-and-Scrape Routine. Soon, she ran out of wall space to scrape. That was when she whipped out her ladder. She climbed up the ladder to scrape the higher parts of the wall, grumbling as she goes.
We found out where our missing ladder went. Did we yell at her or issue lawyer's letter or send complaint letters to the local authorities? We most certainly did not.
Auntie Molly agreed to move some of her palm trees out. Mrs Yip's illness worsen. The Yips poisoned the shrubs on "The Land." Lawyer letters were issued. Letters of complaint were written to the local authority. (who owned "The Land.")
More yells between the families. Auntie's daughter intervened. Peace was restored. The Yips moved away. Mrs Yip did not recover from her illness.
"How absurd can they get? My palm trees make his wife sick? Gah! I attend church, you know? I only pray for the well being of others." Auntie Molly explained to me by way of explanation.
Knowledge is power ... right?
Yup! I avoided Auntie Molly like The Plague. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Yada-yada-yada! You steer clear from the quarrelsome types, that's what you do. When she told me to cut my hedge more often, I had to agree. When she told me my discarded garden waste is too near her plants, I moved them away. When she removed herbs from my hedges without permission, I looked away. I am the picture of Congeniality.
Recently, we engaged a contractor to install an external water tank. The man borrowed our ladder for the job and left it at the back alley together with some discarded planks. The ladder disappeared. We bought a new one and did not pursue the matter. Meanwhile, Auntie wasn't pleased because the planks were lying on her side of the back alley so she started scraping the outer wall of her house, the parts facing the back alley. She grumbled as she scraped and scraped as she grumbled. She kept this up from morning till well past noon. I got the message. She did not want the planks on her side of the alley. When the contractor did not remove the discarded wood at once, she recommenced the Grumble-and-Scrape Routine. Soon, she ran out of wall space to scrape. That was when she whipped out her ladder. She climbed up the ladder to scrape the higher parts of the wall, grumbling as she goes.
We found out where our missing ladder went. Did we yell at her or issue lawyer's letter or send complaint letters to the local authorities? We most certainly did not.
No comments:
Post a Comment