"Count your blessing one by one and see what God has done." - Lily (not her real name.)
Fine! Let's do it. I am thankful today that God gave me a family. They helped me survive last year's crisis. I would have given up if left to my own devices. It is easier to give up and succumb to the illness than to endure the chemotherapy. Yet persevere I did by the strength of those who stood by me.
If you haven't guessed by now, why yes, I was an adopted child. I knew who my biological parents were but I could not circumvent the complicity that stood between us. And so I lumbered on in an unhappy environment where the protagonists were my Ma and married sister, the antagonist being my brother's wife. Those were miserable years. I shall not embark on the twist and turns of an antagonistic relationship for it is in the past and what good will it bring us all? My brother's wife had had her share of retribution ... at its worst.
Unlike most children my age, I did not have a sense of belonging. I was neither here nor there. As a result, I dwelt in an imaginary world which was kind to the likes of me. I spent hours in the company of Theen. (not her real name) She gave me a false sense of belonging. She was the first among the many kindred spirits who stumbled across my path when they were direly needed. I felt blessed.
There were two important lessons that I learned in my youth. To emulate the magnanimity of Theen (not her real name) and to shun the unkindness of my brother's wife.
Try as I would, I could never forget the year Ma had a stroke. In the old days, restaurants and food stalls were not opened on the eve of Chinese New Year. My married sister who lived miles away brought dinner in a tiffin carrier. On the first day of Chinese New Year, my biological sister brought lunch. I remembered sobbing between mouthfuls. I felt blessed.
When Freda (not her real name) complained about her mother sewing a heart-shaped jewelry box for her wedding, tears sprang to my eyes. I never did explain them. I hoped she'd figure out why.
Ma died soon after and I was out of house and home. Yet not all was lost. Solutions came in various form and God in his Mercy was kind. Kindred spirits appeared unexpectedly. There were far too many of them to be named in this post, but you reading this ... you know who you are.
So I should be thankful and I am. If my childhood hadn't been half as miserable, I wouldn't have been twice as blessed.
If you haven't guessed by now, why yes, I was an adopted child. I knew who my biological parents were but I could not circumvent the complicity that stood between us. And so I lumbered on in an unhappy environment where the protagonists were my Ma and married sister, the antagonist being my brother's wife. Those were miserable years. I shall not embark on the twist and turns of an antagonistic relationship for it is in the past and what good will it bring us all? My brother's wife had had her share of retribution ... at its worst.
Unlike most children my age, I did not have a sense of belonging. I was neither here nor there. As a result, I dwelt in an imaginary world which was kind to the likes of me. I spent hours in the company of Theen. (not her real name) She gave me a false sense of belonging. She was the first among the many kindred spirits who stumbled across my path when they were direly needed. I felt blessed.
There were two important lessons that I learned in my youth. To emulate the magnanimity of Theen (not her real name) and to shun the unkindness of my brother's wife.
Try as I would, I could never forget the year Ma had a stroke. In the old days, restaurants and food stalls were not opened on the eve of Chinese New Year. My married sister who lived miles away brought dinner in a tiffin carrier. On the first day of Chinese New Year, my biological sister brought lunch. I remembered sobbing between mouthfuls. I felt blessed.
When Freda (not her real name) complained about her mother sewing a heart-shaped jewelry box for her wedding, tears sprang to my eyes. I never did explain them. I hoped she'd figure out why.
Ma died soon after and I was out of house and home. Yet not all was lost. Solutions came in various form and God in his Mercy was kind. Kindred spirits appeared unexpectedly. There were far too many of them to be named in this post, but you reading this ... you know who you are.
So I should be thankful and I am. If my childhood hadn't been half as miserable, I wouldn't have been twice as blessed.
shadows on the sand
sturdy in the gentle breeze
hovered over me
♥
i was not alone
hovered over me
♥
i was not alone
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