Mother of all Purges.

The purging eased off for another day but returned again late last night.  So yes, I was happily purging away and looking the part.

It reminded me of the time when I visited Suzhou a couple of years ago.  My cousin was an expatriate in Suzhou where I prolonged my visit after one of those tours.

Noodles Over The Bridge was a local Suzhou favourite at the time.  The story goes that some ancient Suzhou scholar was studying so hard for his examination that he did not have the time to return home for his meals. (Or perhaps he wasn't allowed to return home for his meal?) It was a brutal winter but his wife prepared and delivered to him piping hot noodles. (I am assuming that the wife must have walked over a bridge?) That's how the noodles got its name.

The noodles were served in a huge bowl of soup topped with a thick layer of oil. (The layer of oil insulates the soup against the cold.) Several small plates came with the noodles. They contained eggs, meatballs, thin slices of meat, vegetables etc. You were supposed to drop these into the piping hot soup and wait a while for the ingredient to cook itself.  I'm not sure if the layer of oil is supposed to be taken in with the soup but I did not have the presence of mind to remove mine.  It wasn't an agreeable arrangement.  I had the Mother of all Purges followed by piles.

My cousin's driver helped me acquire a local medical treatment for my condition. I was expecting some sort of brown beads to be taken orally or rectal cream. What he gave me instead was a plaster with brown paste spread over it.  The plaster was placed over my belly button.  I started feeling some heavy traffic moving from my navel and my piles started to shrink quite literally, in real time.  I swear I could feel it and I've never felt it before or since.

Recently I heard about a man who suffered from motion sickness. He treats himself by plastering a Salonpas over his navel.

Talk about strange cures.